Most "Puzzling"

1. Why is it that...the bathroom is never attached to the dentist office?
2. Who decided to give plastic bags a price tag?
3. To digitally enhance pictures in a magazine?
4. That to be happy you need to be beautiful or popular and have stellar boyfriend?
5. Is Love not enough?
6. Why are we willing to spend 5dollars on a cafe latte (said with caramel frap in hand) but would not give a cent to the needy?
7. That we eat processed-fatty foods that make us sick?
8. But most importantly: why do we still give an eff about B.Spears?

Define: kclfjhpv

VOCAB LESSON #1

A slap on the keyboard

"l cgjcc/smcserwvrcg fhsvr"

it shows excitement, and a raw feeling something only described as aslifhac

Idea: Don't overuse

Unless: you blame it on your cell

Rule of thumb: ckhmkhffckn changes everytime, but some are confused by it, use it on the computer when its a shocker to escalate surprise

Incense and Tarot Cards

Have you ever met someone completely new for the first time, but feel like you've known them forever? Not Love. So overused, just casual. School has begun, campus is empty except for the Tim Hortons line (of course), the Pharmacy (all girls, hmm) and Inprint (gotta get those coursepacks).

Oh and Oscar's body now looks like George Costanza's head, in certain areas, yesterday I took the role dog groomer...

When in Rome

The outside of this tattoo parlour in the complex of my apt has become oscar's dumping ground. Bad days or good (but when do i have bad days?) im there like twice a day. The reason why I mention this is because the guys who work there are phenomenal. Ok, some are greasy and I would never go near with a 6ft pole, but some have that edginess only Justin Bobby emulates ("a man so great he has two names"-hills). Since im on a mission to make london toronto, and toronto L.A, I figure there is nothing more chic than being surrounded by ridiculously tattood gentleman, who no joke was listening to Alanis Morissette (I'm a bitch) in his white convertable car. cefkljmpokx; t2v hw

As of now oscar just poo's outside their window and I flash a million dollar smile while scooping, but since its summer, the skirts are getting shorter, the days longer, it all has just begun.

Honey, Im home!

Did you know that if you spend over $300 at Walmart they need the manager's signature on the bill? Thats pretty self-explanatory about how much people spend here.

So now I'm bag lady with things everywhere, thats the problem with going to these superstores, you have the cosmetics with the groceries and the puppy food with, well you get the picture.

Back in london, I should be at Barneys with my oversized sunglasses drinking an amaretto sour, but currently I am in my lulu's doing laundry, unbagging, and watching oscar stick his head out the window or chew squeaky squeaky toys.

It is saturday night, so there is still hope to fulfill fabulousness, and there is always the option of hiring a cleaning lady.

Casting call

Made this vid to be the next CMT interviewer, pick meeee

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6k38T2hYYc

Karma is a bitch

Lets pretend that i didnt spend all last nite trying to get rid of the eyeliner marks strewn across the basement carpet. the eyeliner, completely chewed up, was the weapon of choice used to draw on face of below person. apparently karma does exist, and it loves nipping me in the behind

Like a Virgin, hi mom!

Four-ish days left in toronto, kinda sad to depart! To say its been a blast is an understatement, and there's so much more Starbucks to consume in these sunny rays, Maybe even Oscar will find love other than me, the fam, and the pen he is currently chewing on, bad boy!

So im all gaga about the 21th century and possibly unfortunately the whole fam has stumbled on this blog (i did send them the URL, guilty as charged), and I think there were some mixed feelings, so I did want to clear the air a little, please don't take anything I write too seriously, I love writing and causing some havoc and why not as public as this? and while it is implied everyday, mom, dad and sis where would i be without you? im so lucky to have u duders, ur support is everything to me and u fill my heart and my bb with much love. even while Im miles away, i know there is no place like home, luv forever.

On the subject of humiliation, and havoc, there was keriokee last nite. I dare my pal leiki free drinks ALL night to go onstage and sing madonna like a virgin. But not just sing, were talking all the arm movements, the whole nine yards. Needless to say I was conned into doing this with her, and found myself belting out "touched for the very first time" fumbling for the videotape function on my phone. The best moment in our singing career. I'd like to thank the academy. Another highlight- drawing all over our friends face who is hardcore passed out on the couch. Nothing like waking up to a few penis' and whiskers to start your day.

yes mom, i said penis :o

Face Time

as the renovations are not coming together, the fam decided to get our decorator probably the best idea, ever.

went to philthys last nite, huge scene with familiar faces and of course none of which anyone cares about, but the importance of saying hi and asking what these people you have not seen in about two yrs somehow plays a role into the scene. 

and i must say most of these nights are either a disappointment or like the best night ever, rarely is it just mediocre.

so ive had my fair share of disappointments, and lets just say it was a good nite ;)